I have to agree with Jon Stewart. The promotion between MSNBCs”Morning Joe” and Starbucks makes me want to vomit. I know the news biz is suffering, but it’s hard to see them stoop to this. What a disgusting sell out.

Starbucks CEO Howard Schultz said that “the rules of engagement in marketing and advertising have changed quite significantly.” Maybe, but it’s a pretty scary step.

The president of MSNBC, Phil Griffin, says “Morning Joe” will continue to cover Starbucks as a news item if warranted. “They understand we have standards,” he told the New York Times.

Of course. Can’t you see it now:

Announcer: Welcome to “Morning Joe” brewed by Starbucks. Here’s Joe Scarborough.

Joe: Big news this morning — Starbucks has decided to close 500 more stores across the country, but don’t worry. They still have really good coffee like this latte I’m drinking. It’s definitely worth $4.50 even though I didn’t have to pay for it. You all should try one. Mika, what do you think?

Mika: I agree Joe. But I prefer the cafe mocha. Because their coffee is so good, I’m sure Starbucks will eventually be able to open those stores up again. What else is going on this morning Joe?

Joe: Did I mention that this Starbucks coffee is really good….

Panel discussions are a popular format for conventions and meetings. Over the years, I’ve attended many. They aren’t my favorite form of communication, mainly because I think they are usually done poorly.

Recently, in one day, I attended two club meetings with panels. Both were okay — but one was better than the other, mainly because of the moderator.

Rarely is the moderator (or panelists, for that matter) paid for his participation, but that doesn’t mean he should take the assignment lightly. The moderator is the traffic cop who must actually “moderate,” by enforcing time limits and keeping panelists on topic. He or she should understand the audience’s needs and expectations. He should know the viewpoints of each panelist and how they fit into the overall topic of discussion.

A moderator who knows what she’s doing makes comments and asks questions that keep the conversation animated and moving. She needs to ensure that each panelist gets a fair chance to contribute, but also must control the time spent on each question.

Of course, choosing panelists is equally important. In my experience, there are usually too many for the time allotted. In an hour-long segment, three or four plus a moderator is plenty. Obviously, it’s best if they have diverse viewpoints and opinions. (Some personality would be nice as well.)

Just like the moderator, panelists have to prepare. They should know what they want to say and how to say it succinctly. Any answer longer than two or three minutes is inviting the audience to tune out.

Ideally, they should know the other panelists’ viewpoints. And if a panelist doesn’t know anything about a particular topic or question, he or she should shut up!

It’s up to organizers to choose panel participants wisely and make the guidelines clear. Otherwise, you just have more blah blah, and your audience would learn a lot more by networking with each other in the hallway.

Why can’t people give up their bullet points in PowerPoint presentations? One reason is they don’t know what to replace them with or what to do differently. Here’s a slide makeover that may give you some ideas.

The first slide below is not as cluttered and data heavy as many I’ve seen, but it still has too many words on it to be easily understood by the audience.

One guideline that can help improve a type-filled slide is to put most of the words in your notes (either on your screen or on paper) to remind you what you want to say. Also, include only one key point per slide.

Here the presenter is trying to do too much at once. She’s talking about the importance of a “meaningful difference,” and then also adds five examples. She’ll probably read them to the audience.

I think it can be more visual and therefore more understandable by spreading the info out on more slides. The presenter can also easily include the audience in the discussion.

The first new slide introduces the concept. On her notes page, the presenter can have the info she wants to say, the stuff that used to be on the slide.

“Strong brands stand out because they have something that differentiates them — what’s called a meaningful difference. They convey this difference consistently and constantly in everything they do.”

“Let’s look at some brands that stand out in this way and see if you can name their meaningful difference.”

“When we think of Maytag, what do we think of?”

“Yes, reliability. How about Michelin?

“Safety. All of their ads and communications to consumers convey their emphasis on safety.”

“What stands out when we think of Disney? What’s their differentiator?”

“Yes, Disney is known for providing wholesome family entertainment. Parents know that if they send their kids to a Disney movie, it won’t have sex and violence.”

And she can continue on with the other brands. This way of presenting keeps the audience from texting, twitting, or checking email. And it’s more interesting for the presenter too.

Next to “We never let facts get in the way of a good story,” my favorite saying about the news business is “Never get into an argument with someone who buys ink by the barrel.” It’s been attributed to Mark Twain, though I can’t confirm it.

No matter who said it first, we know the adage has been around for a long time and has been proven true time and again. So why did a hospital in northern New Jersey think it could escape the fate of so many others?

The Hackensack University Medical Center was upset that a newspaper called The Record was going to write an unflattering story about some of the hospital’s board members. So — you guessed it — an administrator called and threatened to cancel all advertising on the newspaper’s website and in print.

The story ran anyway.

Then the hospital went a step further and said the newspaper couldn’t be sold in its gift shops or anywhere on campus. And, you guessed it again, The Record wrote a story about the hospital’s reaction.

The incident ended as you might expect. The hospital apologized.

And to make the Hackensack University Medical Center look even worse, the story was written up in the New York Times. This is what’s called learning a lesson the hard way.

The Obama administration wants to communicate to the American people (and the rest of the world) with clarity and transparency. Apparently the message hasn’t yet reached the Department of Defense.

According to the Christian Science Monitor, the DOD issued this statement in response to the ridiculous Air Force One flyover in New York City:

“In coordination with the Federal Aviation Administration (FAA), the Presidential Airlift Group conducted a aerial photo mission in the New York City area on 27 Apr 2009. This mission, involving the VC-25 and an F-16, was conducted in conjunction with normally scheduled continuation training for assigned aircrew members. This mission was coordinated for the Upper New York Bay, south of the Holland Tunnel and in the Newark Bay north of the Staten Island Expressway between the hours of 1000L and 1030L.

Plain English gobbledygook.

Patrick Doyle, the President of Dominoes, issued a video apology/response to the disgusting video posted by two store employees in North Carolina. I’ve heard it criticized for being corporate speak. I disagree.

Yes, maybe it would have been better if he hadn’t read at all, but just talked to the camera like David Neeleman, the former CEO of JetBlue Airways, when he apologized for service problems in 2007. But actually, as reading goes, I thought Doyle did a good job of making the statement sound heart felt and real.

The major problem that undermined his sincerity was a lack of eye contact.  He appeared to be reading cue cards or a laptop to the left of the camera, instead of facing directly into the lens which a Teleprompter allows you to do. Gee, they don’t cost that much to rent, especially when your brand is at stake.

Advice on how to take advantage of social media is everywhere — articles, blogs, webinars, podcasts, etc.

Of course, much of the interest in Facebook, Twitter and the like is being driven by younger people. The message to companies and other organizations is clear — communication has changed. Audiences want simple, understandable, interesting messages or they’ll tune you out. They also want their voice heard and they’ll use it no matter what you do or say.

Then why are so many people who are tuned into social media still giving the same horribly boring, non audience-focused PowerPoint (and Apple Keynote) presentations? How long will it be before Gen Yers, Xers, and even Baby Boomers revolt by walking out on or even refusing to attend speeches that bore them with bullet points?

Often when I tell people their speeches would be much better if they dumped all their bullets, sub bullets and sub sub bullets, they’re shocked. They’ve always done it that way. How else would they deliver messages if they couldn’t fill their slides with words?

The answer, simple but not easy, is to fill slides with visuals — pictures, charts, and graphs — while using a bare minimum of words.

Chances are, if your PowerPoint presentation can stand alone without you explaining it, you have too much information on your slides. Your audience will either start texting and checking emails, or fall asleep as you drone on and on.

Here are five steps to help you make your slides — and your presentation — more engaging:

1). Plan your content before you ever start working on the slides to go with it. When we start with PowerPoint we often aren’t clear about what our important, overlying messages are.

2). Don’t put your company name and other information on every slide. Besides being unnecessary and boring, it takes up important real estate that you can use for conveying your message.

3). Plan on preparing three different presentations instead of trying to accomplish all your goals with one. The first presentation is your slides: visual, colorful and interesting. The second is your notes page at the bottom of PowerPoint or Keynote. Here you put all the bullet points that would have appeared on your slides. Finally, if you need a leave-behind or want to give your audience more in-depth information, prepare a handout.

4). Write a short headline that states the main point of your slide. It’s best to use a full sentence with an action verb. This immediately lets the audience know what you’re trying to convey.

5). Most importantly, present information in small chunks rather than a data dump. This means using only one idea per slide. So if you have a list of five bullet points, it might be best to convey the information in five different visually focused slides, rather than trying to put it all on one.

Yes, this is harder and takes more time. But what’s the alternative? Wasting your time and the audience’s on a presentation that makes no impact whatsoever.

I think it’s encouraging that, according to the Wall Street Journal, the Federal Reserve and its chairman Ben Bernanke are working to become more open and communicative — not only with the media, but also with the American public. They may even decide to hold regular news conferences

Former Reserve chief Alan Greenspan prided himself on being as unclear as possible. In his 15 years on the job, he did only one on-the-record TV interview and rarely took questions after speeches. His hesitancy to communicate is understandable given that anything he said could cause a major earthquake in the markets.

But I wonder if this lack of clarity is also part of the problem. I doubt that very many people in this country, myself included, truly understand our economic system, let alone what caused the crisis we’re in and how the government plans to get us out of it. What people don’t understand they tend to distrust or ignore.

Earlier this year, lack of clear communication from the administration was one of the reasons President Obama had such a difficult time selling his recovery plans. Since then, the White House has been trying harder to keep us in the loop.

According the the WSJ, Bernanke said in an interview, “I think it’s important for the public to understand what is going on and to know that the government is trying to solve the problem. They should know we have a plan and a strategy.”

He’s right. The days of obfuscation are over. We need leaders who can explain to us in clear, simple terms — not economic gobbledygook — just what we’re in for.

I just came back from another conference. Ho hum. More mediocre presentations that sent me checking email on my iPhone for relief.

It’s not so much that the speakers were bad (some of them were), but their PowerPoint was awful. I’ve written about this before, and I’ve done presentations on the topic, but I just can’t understand how so many smart business and professional people can be so stupid about using visuals that aren’t really visual.

How can anyone actually think that a slide filled from top to bottom with words makes any positive impact? Granted, I’m less tolerant than most. In fact, I’ve become so intolerant that I can hardly stay in the same room with bad PowerPoint. It makes me want to scream.

I believe that it’s time for audiences everywhere to revolt. Stop the insanity. We’re wasting precious time and resources. When speakers turn on those nasty slides, get up and walk out of the room.  If only Obama had a bailout plan for those of us who have to suffer through bad PowerPoint.

A spokesperson for the Basel Zoo in Switzerland is trying to take back what she told the Swiss media and what eventually was printed in the March 13th edition of the Wall Street Journal. If only she could.

The story involves Farsi, a baby hippo at the zoo who has become so popular he was named “Swiss of the Year” for 2008, beating out tennis star Roger Federer. Because a zoo cannot have two male hippos, even father and son, because of territorial issues, Farsi will  have to go.

Zoo spokeswoman, Tanja Dietrich, said he will be put up for adoption. And if he can’t be adopted, zoo policy is to “put down excess animals and feed them to carnivores.”

That unnecessarily blunt statement has inflamed the passions of animal lovers across Switzerland, and now the US.

In reality, the zoo doesn’t have to worry about getting rid of Farsi for one to four years. So why was Dietrich bringing this up now? And why in such inflammatory words?

Now she’s backtracking. Dietrich says Farsi will stay in the zoo until they can find somewhere else for him to go. “We’re confident we’ll find a place for him.”

That’s what she should have said in the first place.