Alliance Bank of Arizona had great news about reaching a critical goal: $1 billion in total assets! The president and CEO, obviously excited by his bank’s achievement, was quoted from the press release sent to Casacchia: “Reaching the $1 billion dollar milestone in total assets, driven by our exceptionally strong deposit growth, continues to illustrate the value of having a strong capital position.”

Can’t you just see him spouting that gem while toasting his company’s success!

In another segment of the column, Jacob Gold was quoted in a press release about his book “Financial Intelligence: Getting Back to Basics after an Economic Meltdown.”

“You would think that with the abundance of readily available financial information, people would know which path to take with their money,” he said. “In reality, the exact opposite is the case.”

No, it’s not perfect, but at least it’s conceivable that those words actually came out of someone’s mouth.

So who cares? Both got the publicity they were asking for. Even the lousy quote from the bank got ink.

The problem is, many reporters will go out of their way to NOT use a quote like that. And even when it’s used by a journalist who doesn’t take the time to call to get something better, it bores readers. They either don’t understand it, or it they do, they’re so turned off, they stop reading.

At least I did.

Of course, much of the interest in Facebook, Twitter and the like is being driven by younger people. The message to companies and other organizations is clear — communication has changed. Audiences want simple, understandable, interesting messages or they’ll tune you out. They also want their voice heard and they’ll use it no matter what you do or say.

Then why are so many people who are tuned into social media still giving the same horribly boring, non audience-focused PowerPoint (and Apple Keynote) presentations? How long will it be before Gen Yers, Xers, and even Baby Boomers revolt by walking out on or even refusing to attend speeches that bore them with bullet points?

Often when I tell people their speeches would be much better if they dumped all their bullets, sub bullets and sub sub bullets, they’re shocked. They’ve always done it that way. How else would they deliver messages if they couldn’t fill their slides with words?

The answer, simple but not easy, is to fill slides with visuals — pictures, charts, and graphs — while using a bare minimum of words.

Chances are, if your PowerPoint presentation can stand alone without you explaining it, you have too much information on your slides. Your audience will either start texting and checking emails, or fall asleep as you drone on and on.

Here are five steps to help you make your slides — and your presentation — more engaging:

1). Plan your content before you ever start working on the slides to go with it. When we start with PowerPoint we often aren’t clear about what our important, overlying messages are.

2). Don’t put your company name and other information on every slide. Besides being unnecessary and boring, it takes up important real estate that you can use for conveying your message.

3). Plan on preparing three different presentations instead of trying to accomplish all your goals with one. The first presentation is your slides: visual, colorful and interesting. The second is your notes page at the bottom of PowerPoint or Keynote. Here you put all the bullet points that would have appeared on your slides. Finally, if you need a leave-behind or want to give your audience more in-depth information, prepare a handout.

4). Write a short headline that states the main point of your slide. It’s best to use a full sentence with an action verb. This immediately lets the audience know what you’re trying to convey.

5). Most importantly, present information in small chunks rather than a data dump. This means using only one idea per slide. So if you have a list of five bullet points, it might be best to convey the information in five different visually focused slides, rather than trying to put it all on one.

Yes, this is harder and takes more time. But what’s the alternative? Wasting your time and the audience’s on a presentation that makes no impact whatsoever.

Quote that says nothing in 64 words:

“We are constantly evaluating our channel lineup to ensure we provide our customers with high-quality programming that best meets their diverse interests,” said Tony Speller, senior vice president for Comcast’s Houston Region. “The enhancements we’ve made to the Canales Selecto package add even more value and choice to this popular level of service and we’re excited to offer this expanded package to our customers.”

Hot air:

“We are excited about the breadth and depth of information we are able to provide on the re-launched website, particularly with the interactive media center,” said Jon Hall, Chief Marketing Officer of Travelport. “We believe that Travelport’s media center offers unique and unrivaled materials which provide views into the travel sector as well as emerging trends in the economy.”

Blah Blah Blah:

“Our customers are constantly facing the challenge of managing information from various data sources, technologies and systems,” said Marge Breya, general manager and executive vice president, Business Intelligence Platform, Business Objects, an SAP company. “They are looking to gain access to unified, reliable and trusted information via an intuitive user experience. With today’s announcement, we are helping organizations to bridge the information divide between the ‘technically capable’ and the ‘professionally informed’ so that everyone can have the decision-quality information they need to do their jobs.”

Two snooze inducers in the same press release:

“The joint interoperability tests with ViVOtech send an important signal to everyone involved in NFC applications: If they use our ProxSIM cards, they can rely on the latest and future-proof technology of NFC-enabled SIM cards and compatible standards for future NFC systems. This, coupled with the experience that we have garnered from numerous NFCprojects all over the world, enable us together to forge ahead with the wide-scale introduction of NFC,” states Dr. Klaus Vedder, head of the Telecommunications division at G&D.

“Successfully completing an interoperability test with a key leader in SIM chip technology such as Giesecke & Devrient’s shows our vision of delivering the most open and interoperable solution to the NFC market,” said Michael Mullagh, CEO of ViVOtech. “With widely tested multi-application NFC software deployed in 25 NFC payment field pilots, and more than 450,000 NFC readers shipped to over 30 countries, ViVOtech is uniquely well positioned to enable mobile network operators, financial service providers, and merchants to quickly roll out of their NFC mobile payment solutions.”

I’m still sleeping:

“This integration of functionality into a customizable suite of add-on capabilities reflects our continuing commitment to stay ahead of the technology curve by anticipating customer needs,” said David Drake, CEO/CTO of Revelation Software Concepts. “The structured suite of add-ons delivers our industry-leading change control technology in a way that allows customers to add functionality without delay when it is needed, and not before.”

Boring:

“The joint interoperability tests with ViVOtech send an important signal to everyone involved in NFC applications: If they use our ProxSIM cards, they can rely on the latest and future-proof technology of NFC-enabled SIM cards and compatible standards for future NFC systems. This, coupled with the experience that we have garnered from numerous NFC projects all over the world, enable us together to forge ahead with the wide-scale introduction of NFC,” states Dr. Klaus Vedder, head of the Telecommunications division at G&D.

“Successfully completing an interoperability test with a key leader in SIM chip technology such as Giesecke & Devrient’s shows our vision of delivering the most open and interoperable solution to the NFC market,” said Michael Mullagh, CEO of ViVOtech. “With widely tested multi-application NFC software deployed in 25 NFC payment field pilots, and more than 450,000 NFC readers shipped to over 30 countries, ViVOtech is uniquely well positioned to enable mobile network operators, financial service providers, and merchants to quickly roll out of their NFC mobile payment solutions.”

Steve Jobs and/or Apple do it right in two press releases on the same day:

1).“iPod touch is the funnest iPod we’ve ever created,” said Steve Jobs, Apple’s CEO. “Users can listen to millions of songs, watch thousands of Hollywood movies and now, thanks to the App Store, download and play hundreds of great games on their iPod touch.”

2). “The iPod nano is the world’s most popular music player and we’ve made it even better for this holiday season,” said Steve Jobs, Apple’s CEO. “We think users are going to love the amazing new design, the automatic Genius playlist creation, as well as automatically going into Cover Flow with just a turn of the wrist.”

Most unnecessary press release

Knight Energy Corp. Subsidiary Purchases Two Drilling Rigs

Longest opening paragraph I can’t translate into English

SALT LAKE CITY, July 9 /PRNewswire-FirstCall/ — Cimetrix, Inc. (OTC
Bulletin Board: CMXX), a leading provider of factory automation software and solutions for the global semiconductor industry, announced today the availability of a new and innovative tool control solution — CIMControlFramework(TM). CIMControlFramework is the result of a joint development project between Cimetrix and semiconductor equipment leader, Axcelis Technologies, to define, build, and deploy a next generation tool control framework. The new software addresses the increasing demand for more efficient 300mm substrate handling and factory automation at the tool level as well as the need for more and better quality data. These objectives are currently the focal point of such semiconductor industry initiatives as 300mm Prime, Engineering Equipment Capabilities (EEC), Predictive and Preventive Maintenance (PPM) and Overall Equipment Effectiveness (OEE). Combined with the domain expertise of the new Cluster Tool Control Practice within the Company’s Global Services department, Cimetrix now offers a complete tool control solution.

Longest quote

“We have high expectations that our agreement with Microsoft on the licensing of its IP related to digital camera calibration technology will prove to be of great use to us in developing our image-processing business,” said Masakatsu Makino, president of FAST.
“FAST is a specialist image-processing technology company that develops, manufactures and sells image-processing software, devices and systems,” Makino said. “The IP licensed from Microsoft is outstanding camera calibration technology for 3-D measurement and inspection systems utilizing 3-D measurement in production environments in which high practical precision and simple camera calibration operation processes are required. We plan to roll out distinctive image-processing products in the near future that incorporate this technology. As a company developing advanced technology to meet customer needs, we feel that Microsoft’s technology will bring many benefits.”
“As its licensing of this technology demonstrates, Microsoft is implementing a policy of providing a broad range of industries with access to its technology with the aim of contributing to the advance and growth of other industries and their technology,” Makino said. “We take our hats off to Microsoft for this admirable policy.”

Longest quote that is at least somewhat understandable

“Snipitron is a Social Research platform to promote learning, sharing and creativity among global users. It brings together web content, streaming media, well-formed documentation, and analysis into a single location that can be easily accessed and distributed as well as providing a set of tools for keeping this information organized, stored, and delivered,” said Ryan Rouland, a Principal at Snipitron LLC. “With virtually endless market verticals for Snipitron, the use of this program for collaborative sharing is endless. So many people use computers for doing research — consumers shopping for the best coat, students and authors collaborating and conducting research for a book report, PR pros who want to share files with the press, real estate brokers who want to promote listings, fitness gurus who want to share diet and training information, attorneys who want to aggregate and share confidential research and information with clients and other groups. Snipitron allows them to access files from a single point, send MLS listings to a client interested in buying a home, newsletters blasted to customers, assign projects, or share photos with friends. Anyone can use this but it was primarily geared to the professional looking to make their business lives easier and more productive.”

Quote with most unnecessary big words

“LandAmerica management in this market is innovatively improving our service capabilities while reducing reliance on fixed-cost physical locations,” said Chandler. “We will evaluate the performance of the Colorado initiative to determine its applicability to additional markets in the future. There are features of this approach that may well be appropriate for other markets and may facilitate further office consolidations over time. Our ultimate objective is to intelligently eliminate costs and improve service levels at the same time.”

Quote with most gobbledygook

“RTS is pleased to once again be an early adopter of a new milestone of
the NYSE Euronext(TM) Technology Roadmap. The LIFFE CONNECT(R) services complement our existing European Cash Markets 100 MMBA Solution and leverage the low latency, high bandwidth needs of our clients who adopt our hosting solutions for global derivatives and cash markets. With easy access points for traders in Frankfurt and London, as well as Chicago, we are able to offer our clients speed of access to market and quick deployment of their algorithmic trading solutions,” said Mirjana Zuro, Vice President Business Development.

Longest disclaimer in relation to the press release

Solera National Bank Announces Launch of Remote Deposit Capture

Best Headline

www.ChangeTheWayWeGo.com Ends Battles in the Bathroom

Best Quote

“The iPhone has done more to change the way we think about mobile interactive than any other individual device in history,” said Warren Tomlin, Chief Creative Officer of Fuel Industries. “For us to wait and see with this device would be to put us in the same league with companies who waited around for the internet to catch on.”

Best opening paragraph

HENNEPIN, Ill., July 11 /PRNewswire/ — Caution! If read in its entirety, “Why Do Drugs Cost So Much? and why are we so darn sick? (published by AuthorHouse — http://www.authorhouse.com) may cause the following side effects: surprise, anger, disbelief and even amusement.

Best headline with opening paragraph

See What Happens When ‘What If’ Meets ‘Why Not’ 

SILVER SPRING, Md., July 10 /PRNewswire/ — You’ve heard the dire warning; you’ve seen the detailed PowerPoint; you’ve even bought that light bulb with the swirls, but how about some real action? Now the world’s leading scientists meet three uncompromising visionaries to put the most ambitious geo-engineering ideas to the test, tackling global climate change in DISCOVERY PROJECT EARTH premiering Friday, August 22 at 9 pm ET/PT on Discovery Channel.

Now, the apology idea is getting new support from the health care industry. Lawyers have long advised doctors and hospitals to “deny and defend” when confronted with malpractice accusations, saying any hint of guilt or regret invites law suits. But now a few medical centers are going against common practices, and the results seem to show it’s working in their favor.

The New York Times says the University of Michigan Health System was one of the first to experiment with telling patients honestly about errors, sincerely apologizing, and offering fair compensation. Since starting the new policy, claims and lawsuits dropped to 83 in August 2007, down from 262 in August 2001.

Since the University of Illinois started the policy two years ago, the number of malpractice filings has dropped by half. In 37 cases where the hospital acknowledged a preventable error and apologized, only one patient filed a suit.

This supports what many have said about lawsuits in business as well. When people are honest and take responsibility for their mistakes, they help defuse the anger in the offended parties. When they don’t admit error or try to blame others, people are more intent on getting their “pound of flesh.”

The Jack in the Box story of 1993 is a good example of the fall out from passing the buck. 300 people became ill after eating E. coli infected hamburger at the company’s restaurants. A ten-year-old boy died. Company management waited almost a week before admitting its responsibility for the poisonings and expressing empathy to the victims. Even then, the Jack in the Box president blamed the company’s meat supplier. Crisis and litigation experts say their lawsuits from victims, shareholders, and franchisees went on longer and settled for more money because Jack in the Box tried to shift blame.

Bob Sutton, in his blog, cites other supporting research from business psychologists. Their results suggest that managers and leaders who take responsibility when things go wrong and communicate how they’ll change their actions as a result have better reputations that those who try to point fingers. Even more interesting, there’s also evidence their companies do better over the long term.

None of this evidence will change the mind of those stubborn CEOs and executives who just can’t admit they did something wrong. But for anyone on the fence, it’s hard to deny the power of those two little words.

• “We’re really excited about the launch of LaceLynx.”

• “We’re very excited to be bringing our ITIL(R) training courses to San Diego.”

Why is this noteworthy? Because in January, I wrote a post, Bad Press Releases Feature Ridiculous, Boring Quotes, in which I criticized the number of just plain bad quotes used in press releases, mainly ones in which someone was excited about something. That time, I easily found nearly two dozen examples in less than an hour.

Granted, in today’s releases some writers simply exchanged “excited” for other equally boring examples: four of those quoted were “honored,” three were “pleased,” and one was “proud.” (Why do these people have to be anything? Why can’t they just say something that adds to the story?)

And I still found plenty of jargon filled, non-conversational quotes which no normal human being would actually say:

“Recognizing the world-class standards for which Four Seasons is internationally renowned, KoolConnect sought to create a user interface that would extend both the elegance and sophistication of their brand onto the television. We trust that travelers to the Philadelphia area will not only enjoy an abundance of first-run HD studio releases, but will find immense benefit in the infotainment applications of Intrigue.”

But, still, I’m very pleased with today’s results, and honored and proud that maybe some press release writers took my advice.

• “We’re excited about selling more products with X company.”
• “I’m excited about this new opportunity and the much broader responsibilities I will have.”
• “We are excited about the benefits this relationship will bring to our customers, vendors, and employees.”
• “We are excited to add X company to our European distribution network.”
• “We’re excited about this mixed-use project and delighted to have found this location.”
• “We are excited that our senior management team is now in place.”
• “We’re excited to once again offer our customers the chance to enjoy this delicious bayou delight.”

I could go on and on, but you get the idea. If writers are making up these quotes, it’s just plain lazy, colorless writing. If people are actually saying them, it’s dull, trite thinking. Some do try to change the pace, but with equally bland results:

• “X company is pleased to enter into this partnership with Y company.”
• “I am pleased that X company has delivered the perfect satellite to Y company.”
• “We are pleased to offer this unique technology to our colleagues”

Blah, blah, blah…..Why don’t these writers come up with a quote (or prod their spokesperson for a quote) that actually adds something to the story?

• “Selling more products with X Company will give us much wider distribution in Europe. That allows us to show potential customers just how easily and inexpensively we can solve their technical problems.”

• “This is the perfect place for our mixed-use project. It’s a growing, vibrant part of the city close to the freeway. And residents there have told us they’re looking forward to the new shopping, restaurants and offices we will bring to their neighborhood.”

Even worse are the supposed “quotes” that in reality, no one would ever, or could ever say.

“X company represents the best-in-class customer-focused distribution in the electronics components industry,” said John Doe, Vice President of Sales at Y company. “Their extensive product catalog published every 90 days combined with their intuitive, user-friendly website and online catalog, along with their expansive shipping capacity, will be a great advantage to customers who are looking for up-to-date product information and availability of the X company components available for their next generation of electronic devices.”

Huh?

Is it so difficult to do a real interview with spokespersons? If that’s not possible, then at least put words in their mouth that they might actually say.

Many pundits are saying the traditional press release is or should be dead, with the more interactive, social press release taking over. I am excited for that day to come.

• “We’re excited about selling more products with X company.”
• “I’m excited about this new opportunity and the much broader responsibilities I will have.”
• “We are excited about the benefits this relationship will bring to our customers, vendors, and employees.”
• “We are excited to add X company to our European distribution network.”
• “We’re excited about this mixed-use project and delighted to have found this location.”
• “We are excited that our senior management team is now in place.”
• “We’re excited to once again offer our customers the chance to enjoy this delicious bayou delight.”

I could go on and on, but you get the idea.

If writers are making up these quotes, it’s just plain lazy, colorless writing. If people are actually saying them, it’s dull, trite thinking.

Some do try to change the pace, but with equally bland results:

• “X company is pleased to enter into this partnership with Y company.”
• “I am pleased that X company has delivered the perfect satellite to Y company.”
• “We are pleased to offer this unique technology to our colleagues”

Blah, blah, blah…..

Why don’t these writers come up with a quote (or prod their spokesperson for a quote) that actually adds something to the story?

• “Selling more products with X Company will give us much wider distribution in Europe. That allows us to show potential customers just how easily and inexpensively we can solve their technical problems.”

• “This is the perfect place for our mixed-use project. It’s a growing, vibrant part of the city close to the freeway. And residents there have told us they’re looking forward to the new shopping, restaurants and offices we will bring to their neighborhood.”

Even worse are the supposed “quotes” that in reality, no one would ever, or could ever say.

“X company represents the best-in-class customer-focused distribution in the electronics components industry,” said John Doe, Vice President of Sales at Y company. “Their extensive product catalog published every 90 days combined with their intuitive, user-friendly website and online catalog, along with their expansive shipping capacity, will be a great advantage to customers who are looking for up-to-date product information and availability of the X company components available for their next generation of electronic devices.”

Huh?

Is it so difficult to do a real interview with spokespersons? If that’s not possible, then at least put words in their mouth that they might actually say.

Many pundits are saying the traditional press release is, or should be dead, with the more interactive, social press release taking over. I am excited for that day to come.